The Cherry Lifesavers R.F.C. Song Book Edited By Richard Perrin Cherry Lifesavers Rugby Football Club Box 22123 Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada S4S 7H4 January 20, 1996 Contents Contents i Wild Rover 1 The Engineer's Song 2 If I Were The Marrying Kind 4 Father Abraham 6 Why Was He Born So Beautiful 7 The Old Department Store 8 Swing Low Sweet Chariot 10 Buy Us a Drink 11 Old King Cole 12 The Ball Of Kirriemuir 14 Cats On The Rooftops 18 The Crawl 20 Home For a Rest 22 The Gambler 24 King Of The Road 26 Barrett's Privateers 27 How the Money Rolls In 29 Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life 32 Black Velvet Band 34 Danny Boy 38 The Old Sod 39 Northwest Passage 41 The Mary Ellen Carter 41 White Collar Holler 44 The Wreck Of The John B 45 Jamaica Farewell 46 Cigarettes, Whiskey And Wild Wild Women 47 Wild Rover I've played the wild rover for many a year And I spent all my money on whiskey and beer, And now I'm returning with gold in great store And I never will play the wild rover no more. And it's no, nay, never, No nay never no more, Will I play the wild rover No never no more. I went to an ale-house I used to frequent And I told the landlady my money was spent. I asked her for credit, she answered me "nay Such custom as yours I could have any day." chorus And then from my pocket I took sovereigns bright And the landlady's eyes opened wide with delight. She said "I have whiskey and wines of the best Sure the words that I spoke, they were only in jest." chorus I went to my parents, confessed what I'd done And I asked them to pardon their prodigal son. They kissed me, caressed me, as oft times before And never will I play the wild rover no more. chorus The Engineer's Song The engineer told me before he died Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum The engineer told me before he died Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum The engineer told me before he died Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum And I've no reason to believe he lied Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum He had a wife with a cunt so wide Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum He had a wife with a cunt so wide Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum He had a wife with a cunt so wide Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum That she could not be satisfied Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum So he built a prick of steel Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum So he built a prick of steel Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum So he built a prick of steel Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum Two brass balls and a bloody great wheel Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum The he filled those balls with cream And the whole bloody issue was driven by steam Round and round went the bloody great wheel In and out went the prick of steel Higher and higher went the level of steam Down and down went the level of cream Then at last the maiden cried "Enough, Enough, I'm satisfied" Now we come to the tragic bit For there was no way of stopping it She was split from ass to tit Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum She was split from ass to tit Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum She was split from ass to tit Ah-hum titty Bum titty Bum titty Bum And the whole bloody issue was covered in. Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses. Covered all over from head to toe, Covered all over with shit, shit, shit! If I Were The Marrying Kind1 If I were the marrying kind, Which thank the Lord I'm not, sir, The kind of man that I would be Would be a rugby. Prop, Sir Prop, Sir? Oh, I'd support a hooker, you'd support a hooker We'd all support a hooker together. We'd be all right in the middle of the night, Supporting hookers together. chorus Scrum Half, Sir Scrum Half, Sir? Oh, I'd put it in, you'd put it in, We'd all put it in together. We'd be all right in the middle of the night, Putting it in together. Lock: I'd sniff butt. Number 8: I'd split cheeks. Flanker: I'd hold it in Stand-off #1: I'd whip it out Stand-off #2: I'd pass it on Center: I'd put it out, you'd put out We'd all put out together Winger: I'd get none Fullback: I'd find touch, you'd find touch, We'd all touch each other,. Referee: I'd fuck her, he'd fuck me We'd all get fucked together Groundskeeper: I'd trim bush Goal Post: I'd stand erect Referee's Whistle: I'd get blown Water Bottle: I'd get sucked Rugby Boot: I'd get smelly Cleat: I'd get screwed Ball: I'd get pumped Weather Spectator #1: I'd get wet Wet Weather Spectator #2: I'd come in rubbers Fair Weather Spectator: I'd come again Father Abraham2 Father Abraham, the seventh son sir, The seventh son said Father Abraham. And he never laughed, and he never cried, All he did was go like this. With the right! and the left! and the right! and the left! and a "hooah!" and off with the shirts and down with the pants and let's get naked! Why Was He Born So Beautiful Him. Him. Fuck him. Why was he born so beautiful? Why was he born at all? He's no fucking use to anyone. He's no fucking use at all. So drink you mother fucker, Drink you mother fucker Drink, Drink, Drink! Why are we waiting? Why are we waiting? He must be masturbating. Oh why, why, why? The Old Department Store3 I used to work in Chicago In the old department store. I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore. A woman came in for a hammer, A hammer from the store. A hammer she wanted, nailed she got, I don't work there anymore. chorus A woman came in for some nails, Nails from the store. Nails she wanted, screwed she got, I don't work there anymore. chorus A woman came in for some paper, Paper from the store. Paper she wanted, a ream she got, I don't work there anymore. A screen door. the back door Some Meat. my sausage A hammer. banged A Carpet. shagged A Fishing rod. my rod Some Beef. porked A Camel. humped A helicopter. my chopper A KitKat. four fingers etc. Swing Low Sweet Chariot4 Swing low, sweet chariot, Coming for to carry me home, Swing low, sweet chariot, Coming for to carry me home. I looked over Jordan, and what did I see, Coming for to carry me home. A band of angels, coming after me, Coming for to carry me home. Buy Us a Drink Buy us a drink And we'll sing you a song of the chances you missed, and the love that went wrong. If you can't buy whiskey, Stand us a pint, And we'll lug'er strait down, And we'll sing half the night. Lug'er down, Lug'er down. As long as there's light in the day, For you'll get no more sup, when you're number is up, And they lay you to rot in the grave. There's girls in the parlours, There's girls in the bars. They paint on the smiles, so you don't see the scars. They get lots of offers, But not much respect For raising three kids on a government cheque. chorus Old King Cole5 Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he, He called for his wife in the middle of the night, And he called for his fiddlers three. Now every fiddler had a very fine fiddle, And a very fine fiddle had he, Fiddle diddle dee diddle dee, said the fiddlers, What merry merry men are we, There's none so fair as can compare, With the Lifesavers R.F.C. Old King Cole was a merry old soul, And a merry old soul was he, He called for his wife in the middle of the night, And he called for his tailors three. Now every tailor had a very fine needle, And a very fine needle had he, Stick it in and out, in and out, said the tailors, Fiddle diddle dee diddle dee, said the fiddlers, What merry merry men are we, There's none so fair as can compare, With the Lifesavers R.F.C. The jugglers had two very fine balls: throw your balls in the air The butchers had choppers: put it on the block, chop it off. The barmaids had candles: pull it out, pull it out, pull it out. The cyclists had pedals: round and round, round and round The flutists had flutes: root diddly-oot-diddly-oot. The painters had brushes: wop it up and down, up and down. The horsemen had saddles: ride it up and down, up and down. The carpenters had hammers: bang away, bang away, bang away. The surgeons had knives: cut it round the knob, make it throb. The parsons had very great alarm: goodness gracious me. The fishermen had rods: mine is six feet long. The huntsmen had horns: wake up in the morn with a horn. The coalmen had sacks: want it in the front or the back? The Ball Of Kirriemuir6 'Twas on the first of August the party, it began. Now, never shall I forget, me lads, the gatherin' of the clans Singing, "Who hae ye, lassie, (last nicht) Who hae ye noo? The ane that hae ye last time (The mon wha hae ye last nicht) He canna hae ye noo." Singin' "Who'll do it this time, Who'll do it a' noo? For the man who did it last time, Canna doo it noo." Singing, wha'll dae it this time? Wha'll dae it noo? The yin that did it last time Cannae dae it noo. Singing, "Balls to your partner, Ass against the wall. If you can't get fucked on a Saturday night, You can't get fucked at all. 'Twas the ball of Kirriemuir, mon, and everyone was there A-playin' wi' the lassies an' twinin' curly hair. chorus John McGowan, the father, was very surprised to see Four and twenty maidenheads a hanging from the tree. chorus There was fuckin' in the meadows, there was fuckin' in the ricks, Ye could nae hear the bagpipes for the swishing o' the pricks. The bride was in the parlour explainin' to the groom The vagina, not the rectum, is the entrance to the womb. Mr. MacFudge the parson, he went among the weemen, He took puir Nellie on his knee, and filled her full o' semen. Puir wee Nellie she found out, to her great consternation, That she by some strange means or ither, was increasing his congregation. The parson's daughter, she was there, a sittin' way down front A wreath of roses in her hair and a carrot up her cunt. The parson's wife, she was there, her arse against the wall, Shoutin' to the laddie boys, "I'll take ye one an' all." The minister's scivvy, she was there, she was all dressed in blue, They tied her to the barn door, an' bulled her like a coo. It's the first lady forward, and the second lady back And the third lady's finger in the fourth lady's crack. It's a' the ladies back, wi' yer arses tae the wall If ye can't get fucked at Kirriemuir, ye'll never get fucked at all! The village priest, he was there, and on the floor he sat Amusing himself by abusing himself and catching it on his hat. The undertaker, he went there dressed in a lime black shroud Swinging on the chandelier and pissing on the crowd. The mayor's daughter, she was there, and kept the crowd in fits By jumpin' off the mantle piece and landin' on her tits. There was screwing on the banister, screwing on the stairs Ye couldna' see the carpet for the mess o' curly hairs. The village idiot, he was there, he was a perfect fool. He sat beneath the oak tree and whittled off his tool. The village postman, he was there, the puir mon had the pox He could nae fuck the lassies, so he fucked the letter box. The chimney sweep, he was there, we had to put him oot, For ev'ry time he farted, he filled the room wi' soot. The groom by now was excited an' racin' through the halls He was pullin' on his pecker an' showin off his balls. The doctor's wife, oh, she was there, she wasna very weel, For she had to make her water, in the midst of ev'ry reel. The butcher's wife, oh, she was there, she also wasna weel, For she had to go and piddle, after ev'ry little feel. There was fuckin' in the courtyard, fuckin' in the halls, You couldna hear the music, for the janglin' of the balls. Jock MacGregor he was there, all in a new Ford truck, They asked him if he'd have a dram, but he said he'd rather fuck. The Session Clerk, oh, he was there, it was a fuckin' shame, He rode a lassie a' the nicht, and wouldna see her hame. The minister's daughter she was there, all draped up to the front, Wi' roses round her cute wee arse, but thistles up her cunt. Four an' twenty dairymaids, lyin' out all bare, You couldna see the daisies, for the cunts an' curly hair. The Church Precentor he was there, he came in trews of tartan, They didna like the colour, for they said 'twas done by fartin'. The farmer's son, oh, he was there, an' he was in the byre, Introducin' masturbation, with an Indian rubber tire. The village bobby he was here, he'd put on fancy socks, He fucked a lassie forty times, an' found she had the pox. The teacher from the school was there, she didna bring her stick, She wasna much to look at, but she sure could take the prick. The village grocer he was there, he had a muckle stand, He couldna get a woman, so he worked it off by hand. The village cripple he was there, he wasna up to much, He couldna get a hard on, so he shagged 'em wi' his crutch. The King was in the counting house, a-countin' out his wealth, The Queen was in the parlour, a-diddlin' with herself. The Queen was in the parlour, a-eating bread and honey, The King was in the chambermaid, an' she was in the money. The King's magician, he was there, playing his favourite trick, He pulled his foreskin over his head, and vanished up his prick. Then he did another, it really was a farce, He stuck his head between his legs, and vanished up his arse. The village smithy he was there, his balls were made of brass, And ev'ry time he tried to fuck, he slid off on his ass. The smithy's wife, oh she was there, she thought it was a farce, To lie down on her stomach, and to take it up her arse. The rugby prop, he was there, he made the people stare, For when he took his troosers down, he looked just like a bear. Farmer Johnson, he was there, an' he just cursed an' spat For forty acres of his oats were fucked completely flat. An' when the ball was over, the ladies all confessed, They'd all enjoyed the dancin', but the fuckin' was the best. Cats On The Rooftops The donkey is a solitary moke, He very seldom gets a poke; But when he does, he lets it soak, As he revels in the joys of copulation. Cats on the roof tops, cats on the tiles, Cats with syphilis, cats with piles, Cats with their arseholes wreathed in smiles As they revel in the joys of copulation. The hippopotamus so it seems, Very seldom has wet dreams; But when he does it comes in streams, As he revels in the joys of copulation. chorus Poor old bovine, poor old bull, Very seldom gets a pull; But when he does, the cow is full, As he revels in the joys of copulation. chorus Poor little tortoise in his shell, Doesn't manage very well; But when he does he fucks like hell, As he revels in the joys of copulation. chorus Now the hairy old gorilla is a sedentary ape, Who very seldom does much rape; But when he does he comes like tape, As he revels in the joys of copulation. When you wake up in the morning and you're feeling full of joy, But your good wife isn't willing and your daughter's gone all coy; Then you've got to use the arsehole of your second eldest boy, As you revel in the joys of copulation. When you wake up in the morning with a ten inch stand, And there isn't any woman in the whole damned land; Then there's nothing else to do but to take it in your hand, As you revel in the joys of masturbation. When you wake up in the morning with your penis in your hand, And you have a funny feeling in your seminary gland; If you cannot get a woman, try to get a clean old man, As you revel in the joys of copulation. Now I met a young girl who was a dear, But she gave me a dose of gonorrhoea; Fools rush in where angels fear To revel in the joys of copulation. The Crawl Spirit of the West Oh we're good old boys, we come from the north shore. Drinkers and carousers, the likes you've never seen. And this night by god, we'll drink 'til there is no more, From the Troller to the Raven, with all stops in between. Well it all began one afternoon on the shores of Ambroside. We were sittin' there quite peacefully with the rising of the tide, when an idea it came to mind for to usher in the Fall and we all agreed next Friday night we'd go out upon the crawl. And we're good old boys. We come from the north shore. Drinkers and carousers, the likes you've never seen. And this night by god, we drank 'til there was no more, From the Troller to the Raven, with all stops in between. Well we planned to have a gay old time, the cash we did not spare. We left all the cars at home, and paid the taxi fare. I got out of horseshoe bay a little after five from a table in the corner, I heard familiar voices rise... chorus Well spirits they ran high that night, old stories we did share of the days when we were younger men, and never had a care. And the beer flowed like a river and we drank the keg near dry. So we drained down all our glasses and were thirsty by and by. chorus Port Royal Hotel, The Rusty Gull, Square Rigger and Queen's Cross. We started off with eight good boys, but half had gotten lost. And you'll never keep the lads together when their eyes begin to rove. And there were just the three of us that made it to Deep Cove. chorus We arrived out at the Raven just in time for the last call, the final destination of this the first annual crawl. We dug deep into our pockets, there was no money to be found. Nine miles home, and for walkin' we are bound. chorus Home For a Rest Spirit of the West You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best I've been gone for a month, I've been drunk since I left These so-called vacations will soon be my death I'm so sick from the drink, I need home for a rest... We arrived in December and London was cold So we stayed in the bars along Charing Cross Road We never saw nothin' but brass taps and oak Kept a shine on the bar with the sleeves of our coats chorus Euston Station the train journey north In the buffet car we lurched back and forth Past odd crooked dikes, through Yorkshire's green fields We were flung into dance as the train jigged and reeled You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best I've been gone for a week, I've been drunk since I left These so-called vacations will soon be my death I'm so sick from the drink, I need home for a rest... Take me home... By the light of the moon she'd drift through the streets A rare old perfume so seductive and sweet She'd tease us and flirt as the pubs all closed down Then walk us on home and deny us a round The gas heater's empty, it's damp as a tomb And the spirits we drank are now ghosts in the room I'm knackered again, come on sleep take me soon And don't lift up my head 'til the twelve bells of noon You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best I've been gone for a month, I've been drunk since I left These so-called vacations will soon be my death I'm so sick from the drink, I need home for a rest... Take me home... The Gambler On a warm summer's evening On a train bound for nowhere I met up with a gambler We were both too tired to sleep. So we took turns a' starin' Out the window at the darkness The boredom overtook us And he began to speak. He said, "Son, I've made a life Out of readin' people's faces An' knowin' what the cards were By the way they held their eyes. So if you don't mind my sayin' I can see you're out of aces For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice." So I handed him my bottle And he drank down my last swallow Then he bummed a cigarette And asked me for a light. And the night got deathly quiet And his face lost all expression Said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy, You gotta learn to play it right!" You gotta know when to hold ('em) Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run. You never count your money When you're sittin' at the table There'll be time enough for countin' When the dealin's done. "Every gambler knows That the secret to survivin' Is knowin' what to throw away Knowin' what to keep. 'Cause every hand's a winner And every hand's a loser And the best that you can hope for Is to die in your sleep." And when he'd finished speakin' He turned back toward the window Crushed out his cigarette Faded off to sleep. And somewhere in the darkness The gambler, he broke even But in his final words I found An ace that I could keep. King Of The Road Roger Miller Trailers for sale or rent, Rooms to let - fifty cents No phone, no pool, no pets Ain't got no cigarettes, Ah, but two hours of pushing broom Buys an eight by twelve four-bed room I'm a man of means, by no means King of the road. Third boxcar, midnight train Destination, Bangor Maine. Old worn-out suit and shoes, Don't pay no union dues, I smoke old stogies I have found, Short, but not to beg around I'm a man of means, by no means King of the road. I know every engineer on every train All of their children, all of their names Every handout in every town And every loft that ain't locked when no-one's around I sing: Trailers for sale or rent, Rooms to let - fifty cents No phone, no pool, no pets Ain't got no cigarettes, Ah, but two hours of pushing broom Buys an eight by twelve four-bed room I'm a man of means, by no means King of the road. Barrett's Privateers Stan Rogers Oh the year was seventeen seventy eight How wish I was in Sherbrooke now! A letter of marque came from the King To the scummiest vessel I've ever seen God Damn them all! I was told We'd cruise the seas for American gold We'd fire no guns, shed no tears Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier The last of Barrett's privateers. Oh Elcid Barrett cried the town, How wish I was in Sherbrooke now! For twenty brave men, all fishermen, who Would make for him the Antelope's crew, The Antelope sloop was a sickening sight. She'd a list to port and her sails in rags, And a cook in the scuppers with staggers and jags. On the King's birthday we put to sea. We were ninety-one days to Montego bay, Pumping like madmen all the way. On the ninety-sixth day we sailed again. When a bloody great Yankee hove in sight With our cracked four-pounders we made to fight The Yankee lay low down with gold. She was broad and fat and loose in stays, But to catch her took the Antelope two whole days Then at length we stood two cables away. Our cracked four-pounders made an awful din, But with one fat ball the Yank stove us in. The Antelope shook and pitched on her side. Barrett was smashed like a bowl of eggs, And the maintruck carried off both me legs. So here I lay in my twenty-third year. It's been six years since we sailed away, And I just made Halifax yesterday. What We Learnt At The School7 She said where does it hurt? I said here. Dis is mein top-noggin Ya mama here. Top-noggin Ya mit damoule That's what we learnt at the school. She said where does it hurt? I said here. Dis is mein head-butt-er Ya mama here. Head-butt-er Top-noggin (keep adding parts as you go) Ya mit damoule (turn around in a circle with your beer on your head) That's what we learnt at the school. top-noggin (top of head) head-butt-er (forehead) pig-finders (eyes) snatch-smeller (nose) cup cleaner (moustache) thigh rubbers (cheeks) clit tickler (tongue) chin chomper (chin) boob blockers (chest) beer basket (belly) mother-fucker (penis) chin slappers (balls) How the Money Rolls In My father makes book on the corner, My mother makes synthetic gin; My sister sells love for a living My God, how the money rolls in. Rolls in, rolls in My God, how the money rolls in, rolls in. Rolls in, rolls in My God, how the money rolls in. My mother's a bawdy-house keeper Each night when the action begins, She hangs a red light in the doorway, My God, how the money rolls in. chorus My cousin's a Harley Street surgeon, With instruments long, short and slim. He only does one operation, My God, how the money rolls in. chorus My brother's a slum missionary, He saves fallen women from sin. He'll save you a blonde for a five dollars. My God, how the money rolls in. chorus My auntie she rolls prophylactics. She punctures the ends with a pin. My uncle does all the abortions, My God, how the money rolls in. chorus My brother lies over the ocean, My sister lies over the sea. My father lies over my mother, And that's how they got little me. chorus My one skin lies over my two skin, My two skin lies over my three. My three skin lies over my four skin, So pull back my foreskin for me. Pull back, pull back, Oh, pull back my foreskin for me, for me. Pull back, Pull back, Oh, pull back my foreskin for me. Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life Monty Python Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say. Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, Don't grumble, give a whistle! And this'll help things turn out for the best. And. . always look on the bright side of life! (whistle) Always look on the bright side of life. If life seems jolly rotten, There's something you've forgotten! And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing, When you're feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps, Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing! And. always look on the bright side of life. (whistle) Always look on the bright side of life. (whistle) For life is quite absurd, And death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow! Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin, Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow! So always look on the bright side of death! Just before you draw your terminal breath. Life's a piece of shit, When you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true, You'll see it's all a show, Keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you! And always look on the bright side of life. (whistle) Always look on the bright side of life (whistle) Kilted Yaksmen Anthem8 Ren & Stimpy Our country reeks of trees Our yaks are really large And they smell like rotting beef carcasses And we have to clean-up after them And our saddle sores are the best We proudly wear women's clothing And searing sand blows up our skirts And buzzards, they soar overhead And poisonous snakes devour us whole Our bones will bleach in the sun. And we will probably go to hell And that is our great reward For being the-uh-roy-yal Canadian kilted yaksmen Loch Lomond By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes, Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond, Where me and my true love will never meet again On the bonnie bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond O' ye'll tak the high road and I'll tak the low road, And I'll be in Scotland afore ye; For me and my true love will never meet again, On the bonnie bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond Twas there that we parted in yon shady glen, On the steep steep side o' Ben Lomond, Where in the purple hue, the Hieland hills we view, And the moon coming oot in the gloaming. chorus The wee birdies sing, and the wild flowers spring, And in sunshine the waters are sleeping, But the broken heart will ken nae second spring again,' Though the waefu' may cease fae their greeting chorus Black Velvet Band In a neat little town they call Belfast Apprenticed in trade I was bound And many an hour of sweet happiness I spent in that neat little town Till bad misfortune befell me And caused me to stray from the land Far away from my friends and relations To follow the black velvet band Her eyes they shone like diamonds You'd think she was queen of the land And her hair. it hung over her shoulder Tied up in a black velvet band Well, I was out strolling one evening Not meaning to go very far When I met with a pretty young damsel She was selling her trade in a bar A watch, she took from a customer And slipped it right into my hand Then the law, they came and arrested me Bad luck to her black velvet band chorus Before judge and jury next morning For trial I had to appear Then the judge, he said, "Me young fellow, The case against you is quite clear For seven years is your sentence You're going to Van Dieman's Land Far away from your friends and relations To follow the black velvet band" chorus So come all you jolly young fellows I'd have you take warning by me And whenever you're out on the liquor, me lads Beware of the pretty colleens For they'll fill you with whiskey and porter 'Til you're not able to stand And the very next thing that you know, me lads You're landed in Van Dieman's Land chorus Danny Boy Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling From glen to glen, and down the mountain side The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying 'tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide. But come you back when summer's in the meadow Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow 'tis I'll be there in sunshine or in shadow Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so. And if you come, when all the flowers are dying And I am dead, as dead I well may be You'll come and find the place where I am lying And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me. And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me I simply sleep in peace until you come to me. The Old Sod Spirit of the West From the old sod to the new land We came over by the score We cut the ties, said goodbye And closed the old world door We settled on the prairies In your cities and your towns There's another oatmeal savage Every time you turn around And there's none more Scots Than the Scots abroad There's a place in our hearts For the old sod Ah there's none more Scots Than the Scots abroad There's a place in our hearts For the old sod Well we soon found our own kind Formed clubs and social nights We practised on each other Just to keep our accents right For there's more tartan here Than in all the motherland We came 5000 miles To the gathering of the clans chorus There's a bar in the rec room In the basement of our house A little shrine to Ballantynes Haig and Famous Grouse There's a sprig of purple heather From the land that once was mine And Robbie's on the tea towel With the words to Auld Lang Syne chorus Well Canada's been good to us We've a living and a home We've all got central heating here And most are on the phone I'm a citizen of both countries And very proud to be The thistle and the maple leaf Are the emblems of the free chorus Northwest Passage Stan Rogers Ah, for just one time I would take the Northwest Passage To find the hand of Franklin reaching for the Beaufort Sea; Tracing one warm line through a land so wild and savage And make a Northwest Passage to the sea. Westward from the Davis Strait 'tis there 'twas said to lie The sea route to the Orient for which so many died; Seeking gold and glory, leaving weathered, broken bones And a long-forgotten lonely cairn of stones. chorus Three centuries thereafter, I take passage overland In the footsteps of brave Kelso, where his "sea of flowers" began Watching cities rise before me, then behind me sink again This tardiest explorer, driving hard across the plain. chorus And through the night, behind the wheel, the mileage clicking west I think upon Mackenzie, David Thompson and the rest Who cracked the mountain ramparts and did show a path for me To race the roaring Fraser to the sea. chorus How then am I so different from the first men through this way? Like them, I left a settled life, I threw it all away. To seek a Northwest Passage at the call of many men To find there but the road back home again. chorus The Mary Ellen Carter Stan Rogers She went down last October in a pouring driving rain. The skipper, he'd been drinking and the Mate, he felt no pain. Too close to Three Mile Rock, and she was dealt her mortal blow, And the Mary Ellen Carter settled low. There were just us five aboard her when she finally was awash. We'd worked like hell to save her, all heedless of the cost. And the groan she gave as she went down, it caused us to proclaim That the Mary Ellen Carter would rise again. Well, the owners wrote her off; not a nickel would they spend. "She gave twenty years of service, boys, then met her sorry end. But insurance paid the loss to us, so let her rest below." Then they laughed at us and said we had to go. But we talked of her all winter, some days around the clock, For she's worth a quarter million, afloat and at the dock. And with every jar that hit the bar, we swore we would remain And make the Mary Ellen Carter rise again. Rise again, rise again, that her name not be lost To the knowledge of men. Those who loved her best and were with her till the end Will make the Mary Ellen Carter rise again. All spring, now, we've been with her on a barge lent by a friend. Three dives a day in hard hat suit and twice I've had the bends. Thank God it's only sixty feet and the currents here are slow Or I'd never have the strength to go below. But we've patched her rents, stopped her vents, dogged hatch and porthole down. Put cables to her, 'fore and aft and girded her around. Tomorrow, noon, we hit the air and then take up the strain. And make the Mary Ellen Carter Rise Again. For we couldn't leave her there, you see, to crumble into scale. She'd saved our lives so many times, living through the gale And the laughing, drunken rats who left her to a sorry grave They won't be laughing in another day. . . And you, to whom adversity has dealt the final blow With smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go Turn to, put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain And like the Mary Ellen Carter, rise again. Rise again, rise again - though your heart it be broken Or life about to end No matter what you've lost, be it a home, a love, a friend. Like the Mary Ellen Carter, rise again. White Collar Holler Nigel Russell Well, I rise up every morning at a quarter to eight Some woman who's my wife tells me not to be late I kiss the kids goodbye, I can't remember their names And week after week, it's always the same And it's Ho, boys, can't you code it, and program it right Nothing ever happens in this life of mine I'm hauling up the data on the UNIX line Then it's code in the data, give the keyboard a punch Then cross-correlate and break for some lunch Correlate, tabulate, process and screen Program, printout, regress to the mean Then it's home again, eat again, watch some TV Make love to my woman at ten-fifty-three I dream the same dream when I'm sleeping at night I'm soaring over hills like an eagle in flight Someday I'm gonna give up all these buttons and things I'll punch that time clock till it can't ring Burn up my necktie and set myself free Cause no-one's gonna fold, bend or mutilate me The Wreck Of The John B We come on the sloop John B My grandfather and me, 'Round Nassau town we did roam Drinking all night, we got into a fight I feel so breakup, I want to go home So hoist up the John B sails See how the mains'l's set, Send for the captain ashore, Let me go home Let me go home Let me go home I feel so breakup I want to go home The first mate he got drunk, Broke up the people's trunk Constable had to come and take him away, Sheriff Johnstone, please let me alone I feel so breakup, I want to go home. chorus The stewardess she got stewed Ran 'round the poop deck nude Constable had to come and take her away Sheriff Johnstone please let me alone I feel so breakup, I want to go home. Jamaica Farewell Lord Burgess Down the way where the nights are gay And the sun shines gaily on the mountain top I took a trip on a sailing ship And when I reached Jamaica I made a stop But I'm sad to say, I'm on my way Won't be back for many a day My heart is down, My head is turning around I had to leave a little girl in Kingston Town Down at the market you can hear Ladies cry out while on their heads they bear Akee, rice, salt fish are nice And the rum is fine any time of year Sounds of laughter everywhere And the dancing girls sway to and fro I must declare my heart is there Though I've been from Maine to Mexico Cigarettes, Whiskey And Wild Wild Women Cigarettes, whiskey and wild wild women They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane; Cigarettes, whiskey and wild wild women They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane; Once I was happy and had a good wife I had enough money to last me for life Then I met with a gal and we went on a spree She taught me smokin' and drinkin' whiskey chorus Cigarettes are a blight on the whole human race A man is a monkey with one in his face; Take warning dear friend, take warning dear brother A fire's on one end, a fools on the t'other. chorus And now good people, I'm broken with faith The lines on my face make a well written page I'm weavin' this story -- how sadly but true On women and whiskey and what they can do chorus Wild the cross at the head of my grave For women and whiskey here lies a poor slave. Take warnin' poor stranger, take warnin' dear friend In wide clear letters this tale of my end. chorus _______________________________ 1 A soloist volunteers for each verse in the traditional fashion (by placing their beer over their head), and are chosen by concensus pointing at them. Everyone sings the chorus and the words marked in bold. 2 With Actions added every verse (left arm out, right arm out, left legout , right leg out, pelvic thrust and so on). 3 A soloist volunteers for each verse in the traditional fashion (by placing their beer over their head), and are chosen by concensus pointing at them. Everyone sings the chorus and the words marked in bold. 4 These two verses to the song are done with actions. Do the whole song, then the humming & silent versions (still with actions) of the first verse and finish with singing the first verse again. There are more verses to the song, but we don't use them. 5 There are (obscene) actions for each person the king calls. Keep adding the people and actions. 6 Written in the 1880's to celebrate the comings and goings of a supposed actual social event in the Kirriemuir district of Scotland. Pick which chorus you want: this song has more names and ways to sing it than you could ever imagine. 7 Point to each body part as you say it and everybody turns around on the "Ya mit damoule" bit. A leader does the intro for each body part and everyone sings the words marked in bold. 8 To the tune of "God Save the Queen"